Pages 451-494

Have you ever heard the phrase 'Jump the shark'? If you haven't it's a phrase used when a television programme has a plot device or gimmick that's so ridiculous it usually results in the decline of the show. I'm sure there's probably a literary equivalent but I'm to lazy to research it.

Les Miserables has jumped the shark for me at this point in the book.

Valjean and Cosette are now in a convent, (which is also a girls boarding school, Les Convenient!) but so as to not arouse suspicion amongst the nuns Valjeans gardener friend tells them that they cant just appear suddenly in the convent, they have to leave then "arrive" at the convent as the gardeners brother and niece so that they will be safe in there. This is not a problem for Cosette as she small enough to be smuggled out easily, but for Jean Valjean they decided to put him in a coffin that was provided for a nun that's just died, take the coffin to a cemetery, half bury him, dig him up, then take him out of the coffin again so he can come back to the convent safely.

Really think about that...........How fucking ridiculous is that? I actually feel a bit let down by these pages, the story was really great up until this point and now it feels like Victor Hugo was drunk when he wrote this. I'm so glad this part of the story was skipped over completely in the musical.

I have a few questions about this whole thing, first of all why is it so necessary for them to leave and then come back to the convent? Wouldn't it be easier for them to just hide out in the gardeners house for a few days and then act like they've just arrived there?  Secondly can a coffin that was built for an elderly nun really be the same size for a large man and why doesn't anybody notice the difference in weight? Thirdly can someone really survive spending hours in a coffin and then nearly being buried alive? Actually Valjean does nearly die during all this so i think my question is answered there. and Fourthly..... WHY ISN'T COSETTE QUESTIONING ANY OF THIS??????? She hasn't spoken a single word during all this time, doesn't she think it's a little bit odd that her "father" has to be taken away alive in a coffin and then brought back into the convent later on? I'm starting to think Cosette may be a little bit retarded. Seriously girl, WHY DONT YOU ASK QUESTIONS?

I really didn't like this part of the book, in fact this is how i looked whilst reading it.....

I also don't like it because i know it's the last I'm going to see of Valjean and Cosette for a while. AND I'M SURE THERE'S GONNA BE EVEN MORE BACKSTORY COMING UP ISN'T THERE MR HUGO, ISN'T THERE!!!

Fuck you Victor Hugo!